


Turning Page

by Addison5578 (orphan_account)



Series: Chapters of Life [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Adult Hinata Shouyou, Adult Kageyama Tobio, Advanced Heart Disease, Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Death, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Heartbreak, Hinata Shouyou & Kozume Kenma Friendship, Hinata Shouyou is Sunshine, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Life - Freeform, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Married Life, Not Beta Read, Olympics, Pro Volleyball Player Hinata Shouyou, Pro Volleyball Player Kageyama Tobio, Sickness, Stargazing, Stars, Sunsets, True Love, Twitter, Volleyball, Weddings, reminiscing on the past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:40:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27905374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Addison5578
Summary: "Will you still love me when I'm all old and wrinkly, Tobio?"Kageyama thought for a minute, not of the answer but the question, what made Shouyou think of a question like that, and why?"Of course I will, how could I not after all these years?" He thoughtfully answers, taking a gentle hold of Shouyou's hand. Shouyou gives him a small but no less precious smile as he faces back towards the open window.Alternatively:Small and large fragments of memories from Shouyou's life, and oh the things he did.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Series: Chapters of Life [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2091249
Comments: 16
Kudos: 73





	Turning Page

**Author's Note:**

> Please keep in mind this story is in chronological order and a lot of these things are only small memory fragments :)

Not a day goes by where Kageyama Tobio wishes he never had to say goodbye.

* * *

Hinata Shouyou and Kageyama Tobio sat together on the wide balcony as the sun began to set. Beautiful hues of yellow, pink, orange, blue, and some purple decorated the sky as the orange sun in front of them set. For a while the two were quiet as they laid in each other's arms, It was one of those rare and treasured moments to two got to spend with each other.

Kageyama sighed as he ran his fingers through the fluffy bright hair that hair on his chest, hair he uses to think was oh so annoyingly bright that he's grown to love. A soft smile found it's way on Kageyama's face as Hinata practically melted in his arms.

Kageyama was sitting in one of the wide and long white chairs meant for beaches, but he didn't mind. He left just enough room for Hinata to wiggle in between his legs and lay his head on Kageyama's chest.

As Kageyama's fingers explored Hinata's hair Hinata couldn't help but smile at the feeling. The two shared the heat of their bodies while they sat silently, barely moving.

They watched as the birds flew over the sky together, they watched the bright orange sky shift colors in the blink of an eye.

"Shouyou?" Kageyama asks, moving up on the chair that he was once sinking in.

Hinata grumbled out a "what?" as he shifted upwards on Kageyama.

"I love you..." Kageyama stated, his body began to become cold out of pure nervousness, this was the moment. He'd been thinking about this for years now. And the moment was perfect, they were together watching the sunset back in japan together, everything is calm and perfect.

"I love you too, Tobio.." Hinata says with ease, putting his hand on the empty space on the chair to help him get up and turn around to plant a kiss on his boyfriend's lips.

Kageyama smiled at the smaller man's actions, the two had grown over the years. The silence was now comfortable, soft touching didn't feel awkward anymore, everything was okay.

"I-I, I'm shitty at words in case you haven't noticed yet, but uhm.." The raven-haired man tried to get out.

"-Tobio...?" Hinata whispered, looking back up at his boyfriend.

"I love you, I always have and I always will...And I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Shouyou... These past years have been nothing but happiness for me and-god I- I hope you feel the same way about it." Kageyama began. Hinata gasped when he realized what he thinks is going on.

"S-so Hinata Shouyou, wi-will you marry me?" Kageyama nervously asks, hand shaking as he looks deep into Hinata's eyes.

Tears fell down Hinata's face as Kageyama pops the question, he had felt the same.

"Y-you-!" Hinata struggles to get out, a wide smile on his face as tears fell from his squinted eyes.

"Y-Yeah, I will stupid.." Hinata cried out, turning his body to fully face his boyfriend, now-fiancee.

Kageyama began pulling out a small rustic brown box that held two rings, one for Tobio, and one for Shouyou.

Sitting up with an uncharacteristically wide smile, Kageyama pulled out the ring he intended to put on Shouyou's ring finger.

Shouyou removed the promise ring Kageyama had given to him a few years prior and moved it to his right index finger, replacing the engagement ring with it.

As more tears fell down Shouypu's face Kageyama embraced him in a warm hug, Shouyou'd face pressed into his chest.

As the sunset and the stars began to show and shine, they hugged and exchanged kisses for the first time as an engaged couple.

* * *

Kageyama Tobio and Hinata Shouyou approached the beautiful and large Olympic volleyball stadium, thousands of seats and advertisements hung around the center court. Here, tonight, the whole world would be watching them again.

The newly engaged couple kept their relationship a secret from the public for as long as possible and soon they wouldn't have to, after tonight they can tell the world that they'd be getting married to each other only a few months after the Olympics end.

The duo is finally standing together, almost at the top again. The greatest challenger up to battle them for first in the world.

After taking a crushing defeat to Argentina in the 2020 Olympics the two trained harder, they got faster, they got stronger. Now with their starting positions on the final court secured they prepare for what tonight brings them.

As Hinata fidgets with the ring placed on his ring finger the rest of Japan's volleyball team enters the area. Gasps from some of the newer players fill the quiet crowd and smiles form on the older faces as they get reminded of how far they've made it. It truly was the experience of a lifetime to get to play here, in the finals.

Everyone begins to grab ball carts to begin their final practice, they align them in a straight line before beginning warm-ups.

"Alright boys, I want 10 laps around the court, no cutting corners! then I want you to do your regular warms ups afterward. You know the drill by now!" Coach commands. Everyone responds with a quick "yes coach!" as they begin their warm-ups.

The rushing of feet fill the quiet gym as the men begin to run, Hinata's one of the shortest players on the team yet he never fails to stand out, his crazy stamina and speed, not to mention his bright hair.

As warm-ups finish up the men begin to line up for some easy hitting lines, Kageyama setting up the outside, Atsumu setting up the right, and the newbie setter helping set up the middle.

As practice continued, everyone slowly began to get more and more nervous for the upcoming match, it was hard to focus when everyone was so excited but so nervous at the same time. The gym was nearly never quiet on normal days but today was different

As practice began to wrap up coach called everyone to the center of the court.

He gave an iconic pre-game pep talk that he always gave, he always spoke about "giving it our all." and "playing until the whistle blows." middle school things.

As the men made their way into the locker rooms to change out of their practice clothes everyone made small talk. Hinata, Atsumu, and Bokuto were going on about how this type they'd crush Oikawa, and Argentina, meanwhile Kageyama, Ushijima, and Sakusa were going on about how overly excited the trio was being, (they didn't mind, but they still pointed it out.

* * *

As Hinata steps up on the podium with the help of one of his teammates he flashes one of the biggest smiles in the world, he was on top. After years of training and working and preparing for this moment he stood at number one.

they won a 5 set match only barely scoring point 25, but in the end this time they won over Argentina. Hinata's face was dry from the tears of pure victory and joy that once fell. Now receiving his medal he could only smile next to his fiancee.

They were on top, and this was a moment neither would ever forget.

* * *

"There the Olympic champions!" Tanaka yells from across Sugawara's house, Hinata and Kageyama had just arrived at a club reunion, it wasn't like they all hadn't kept in touch and talked to each other a lot, it was just that they all had busy schedules and couldn't all come together on a whim, so they planned out a club reunion.

Hinata giggled as Kageyama rolled his eyes at the slight praise.

As Hinata and Kageyama started greeting everyone smiles were shared, they were the last two to arrive.

"Hey, we can finally get this party started!" Nishinoya cried out, stealing another chip from the bowl on Sugawara's table.

Everyone was so successful in life, and Hinata was so proud of his former team, they'd all come so far. He was even proud of Tsukishima, who was still shitty at times, but he'd gotten over a petty high school hatred, they'd become friends now.

As conversation filled the room, cheerful smiles and laughs left everyone's lips Hinata sighed, in a good way. Everything was okay.

"Heyy! anyone down for a friendly game of Uno?" Tanaka yelled.

"Isn't Uno only supposed to be played with four people, Tanaka?" Nishinoya asked, taking a seat next to Tanaka with intent to play.

"Yeah, but we got two decks so we can all play in pairs!" He says shuffling the decks of cards as everyone gathers around, picking their partner.

"Shouyou! You're with me alright?" Nishinoya yells, Hinata nodding in agreement and switching his spot to sit by Nishinoya.

As everyone found their partner Tanaka began to deal with the cards.

Hinata gathers Nishinoya's and his cards and looks at them, not a bad hand, the plus for in his deck of 7 may come in handy later on.

As every duo looked at their deck Yaichi and Kiyoko volunteered to go first.

They placed down the first card, a red 3.

As the game went on everyone seemingly had it out for someone. Hinata and Nishinoya were out for blood, specifically Kageyama's and Asahi's who were also a pair.

"Boom!" Hinata and Nishinoya yelled in sync, throwing down a plus-four a card for Kageyama and Asahi.

"Damnit Hinata!" Kageyama yelled, a small smile on his face.

"Oh come on!" Asahi sighed out, taking the four cards from the pile and adding it to him and Kageyama's deck.

* * *

As Hinata finished tying his bowtie on his neck of the beautiful white suit he was wearing Natsu entered the dressing room.

"How's it goingggg?" The young woman asked she'd grown up. Her orange curly hair had grown out to her belly button, and her face had matured into a young woman. She and Shouyou were seemingly twins aside from the huge age gap between the two. Except, Natsu had taken up a different sport, soccer. The one Hinata dropped for Volleyball.

And Hinata was so proud of his little sister.

"I dunno Natsu..." Shouyou sighed out, his nerves still not calm. He'd been shaking all day since we woke up from his few hours of sleep. He couldn't sleep because of how excited and yet nervous he was for his big day.

"Oh get over yourself!" Natsu began. "Look at yourself, Shou! You look amazing, and you and Tobio-chan have been together for years! You've both practically grew up together- I mean since high school. But still! You'll be fine, you're overthinking it!" Natsu finished, putting her hands on her big brother's shouldered and she turned him around in his spinny chair to face the mirror so he could get a good look at himself.

And it seemed some random words Natsu had thought of off the top of her head had sort of done the trick in calming down Shouyou.

"Thanks.." Shouyou breathed out. It was his big day, after all, it must've been natural to be nervous.

* * *

The pink, orange, and blue flowers laid beautifully on the white isle, awaiting Shouyou's footsteps. 

As soft music played in the background Shouyou took his first step out onto the isle that would bind him and his soon-to-be husband together.

Shouyou's breath hitched at the sight of Tobio, and the men to the side of the area with wide smiles on their faces. Each of them made a huge impact on both of the men's lives.

The venue was beautiful, a rustic western style area with flowers decorating each table with white table cloth laying over them. There were so many people, friends, family, teammates, children even.

As vows were exchanged, tears were shed, and kisses were given, the two men, high school sweethearts, were married. Bond together by law and a kiss that sealed the deal. Words couldn't even express the emotion both of them felt. They were quite the odd couple after all.

"Hey who gave Tobio the knife?" Someone yelled out, giggling at the same time as Tobio made his way over to the cake with his now-husband, Shouyou.

"Watch out he's got the knife!" Houshimi yells from his table across the indoor venue.

Hinata giggled with his hand hovering over his mouth as Kageyama shot A glare over at Houshimi, still smiling a bit though. His face hurt from smiling so much that day.

As the couple happily cut out a slice of the cake everyone chatted amongst themselves, getting to know people they hadn't seen before and catching up with those they had.

"-Shouyou I swear-!" Kageyama yelled out, a small portion of cake now on his face as he gets ready to return the favor to Hinata, smearing a bit of his slice of cake on his husband's face. Giggles broke out in the crowd at the newlywed's childish actions as wet wipes were handed to them. Hinata never stopping smiling at the look at his husband's face as he licks his lips, getting as much of the marble cake he could off of his lips before having to wipe down his face.

Ah, life was good.

* * *

"We should do something stupid." Hinata throws out, bored. Japan's hot sun shining in the window of the couple's bedroom.

Kageyama pulls his T-shirt over his head before making his way over to the armchair that sat in the corner of the couple's room.

"What do you mean?" He asks his husband who was now lazily looking out the window, his arm situated on the window seal as he leaned over.

"Like sometimes dumb, I dunno. go get tattoos or something, I'm just bored." Hinata jokes out, it seemed time had been going just too slow today, and the couple had no way to spend it. Normally on a day like this, they'd be out practicing or something, going on a run maybe, but today both o them had a day off and it just seemed Hinata couldn't sit still.

"Yeah, you're right that is dumb." Kageyama strings out, pulling his phone out of the pocket of his sweatpants.

Hinata gasps "You meanie!"  
  


* * *

"I hurtssss...." Hinata whined out, holding a cloth over the small stinging sensation on his wrist.

"Dumbass I told you it would sting!" Kageyama yelled from the living room, completely unphased from what they'd just done.

"Yeah well not everyone is as tolerant to pain as you stupid!" Hinata yelled, turning the running water off and walking over into the living room, holding the cloth on the underside of his wrist.

"C'mere let me see," Kageyama mumbled out, holding out his arms for Hinata's wrist.

"Look it's all red and puffy! How come yours isn't like that!" the standing man complained.

"You idiot mine is like that too, I'm just not complaining about it so much. Plus wasn't this your idea anyways?" he began. "just distract yourself, plus it shouldn't hurt that bad, I just think you're being overdramatic."

"Whaaattt? I'm not being dramatic! Let me see yours!" The bright man whined.

Tobio flipped his wrist to uncover a small red puffy spot on the side of his wrist, the number 9 inked on.

"I call bullshit! you just lucked out because you only had to have one number." Hinata cried out, taking the wet rag off his wrist uncovering the number 10 inked on at the same spot his husband's number was on.

9 and 10, two numbers they made history with.

* * *

"Will you still love me when I'm all old and wrinkly, Tobio?"

Kageyama thought for a minute, not of the answer but the question, what made Shouyou think of a question like that, and why?

"Of course I will, how could I not after all these years?" He thoughtfully answers, taking a gentle hold of Shouyou's hand. Shouyou gives him a small but no less precious smile as he faces back towards the open window.

"What brought on that question?" he asked.

Hinata turned to him and flashed an award-winning smile like always. "Just curious. I don't want to be an old lonely grandpa now do I?" He says, not an ounce of worry could be found in his voice.

"To be fair, you'll reach grandpa status before me." Kageyama nonchalantly said he could never get over the fact that Shouyou was older than him, in a good way and a bad way.

"Hey! I'm older than you by a few months! don't get ahead of yourself stupid!" Hinata called out, his face looked angry, but it was all light-hearted.

* * *

"So in short terms, yes, it's advanced heart disease. I'm sorry," The man said, staring down at the short man sitting on the parchment of the bed.

Tears began forming in Hinata's eyes as he sniffled.

"Sorry, can I- uh, call my husband, please? It'll only be a minute." Hinata asked, sniffing as he spoke.

"Yes, please, go ahead." The doctor softly responded, attaching his papers to his clipboard as he stepped out of the room. "I'll be back in a moment, I have a few things to finalize with the hospital, I'll let you know the next steps very soon." He finished, closing the door behind him leaving the ginger alone in the room.

As Hinata pulled out his phone to call his husband he stopped and stared at the floor, watching as tears rolled down his cheeks and onto the tile floor.

Wiping his nose, he opened up his contacts and rang Tobio, he should be the first to know.

With only a few rings the younger answered.

"Hello? What's up Shou?"

* * *

The pile of get-well-soon cards given to Shouyou sat on a nearby counter, it was honestly a bit cruel if Kageyama thought about it. He knew that nobody meant anything bad by it, but Shoyou physically can't get better...It's not like a miraculous cure is going to be found overnight.

Shouyou sat dead silent in a twin-sized hospital bed, an IV and heart monitor hooked up to his as he rested, occasionally changing sleeping positions as Tobio watched him with wide eyes from the side. It was a rare moment where he slept without issue...

The dry tears made a shiny trail on his one tan face, now pale from the lack of sunlight he'd been getting.

Hinata's retirement from volleyball had come as a surprise to everyone, everyone who hadn't known of his condition that is. The V-Leauge was shocked, to say the least, he'd become a top player, dominating the charts after his first year playing professionally. 

He'd flown, but now he was falling just as fast.

He'd worked hard for his dream for over 10 years just to retire before he was thirty _if he'll even make it to thirty..._

With a sigh Kageyama took out his phone, may as well pass some time while he waits for Shouyou to wake up.

Tag #10 was trading around the world, and several others like that were trading across Twitter in Japan. A small smile found it's way to Kageyama's face seeing it, people cared. A warm feeling exploded in his chest, he felt _proud_ of his husband for making history again with him.

But that pride soon turned to guilt at the thought of him not making it to the next club season, he'd never get to see Natsu get married, or start a family. There would be so much he would miss. Kageyama could only focus on the negative, some things never change.

* * *

"Tobio?" Shouoyu called out, sounding as innocent as ever, but in reality, he was just tired and nauseous.

"Yeah, what's up?" He whispers, taking a knee by his husband's bed and cuffing his hand on Shouyou's cheek. Shouyou nuzzled into the touch.

"I love youuu" He said, his smile distracting from the dark bags hidden under his eyes. Shouyou had made it apparent to let his husband know.

Biting his lip, Tobio grabbed the smaller hand, it fitting perfectly in his.

"I love you too, Shou." He said, a smile worming its way onto his face.

It was cruel. The world was cruel and unfair.

"Did'ya know that you're really pretty? Like...Super pretty." He says, slowly sitting up with the help of Kageyama.

"Oh really?"

"Tobi..." he replied. "Like super pretty, prettiest man I know..." He said, taking a pause. "Other than me of course..."

"Shou? You're doing that now? We all know I'm the most pretty here."

"Liar!" 

"Maybe I'm lying? What about it Shou? What are ya gonna do about it huh?" Kageyama teased.

"here, move over," Kageyama said, pulling out his laptop from his backpack while Hinata made room for him to squeeze in.

Opening Netflix on his laptop, Kageyama began talking. "what do you wanna watch?"

"Uhhhhh, you choose!"

"Alright..."

* * *

"I'm serious, I don't want to drag you down anymore okay?!" Hinata yelled, tears rolling down his rosy cheeks. Him trying to get Kagheyama to leave just felt like a horrible idea for himself but a great one for Kageyama.

"Shou what don't you understand? You aren't dragging me down? Okay?" Kageyama yelled in response. Tightly gripping the fabric of his hoodie trying to not make any rash decisions while his knuckles go white.

Hinata's fingers curled around the white bed sheets that laid beneath him, the blanket at his knees. All he wanted was what was best for Kageyama, not him.

"Can't you see how selfish you're being? I **want** to be here!" The younger shouted. "If I didn't want to be here I wouldn't have ever come here! I want nothing more but to help you but you need to accept my help alright?!" He finished.

"Seriously Shouyou you don't have to just cut me off like this! You can't just try to erase everything we have, especially right now of all fucking times!"

The two sat in silence for a minute, both men looking at the floor.

"Look I'm going to go for a walk, text me when you're calmed down." The raven said, breaking the silence. Hinata kept his head low, listening as Kageyama's footsteps got farther from him, listening as the heavy door clicked open.

"Love you." He said, exiting the room.

He must have said that out of habit... Hinata thought.

Hinata was left alone with his thoughts again. it seems like his thoughts were somehow dangerous for him, they led him to this situation...

With a sigh Hinata grabbed his phone, hesitating he opened up his contacts and clicked on Tobio's number.

He typed out several variations of "I'm sorry" before just settling on not sending a message at all. 

As the night continued without a word being exchanged between the two Hinata had time to reflect, not just over the argument but, over life. over everything he's accomplished. Made it to nationals at his dream school, got a boyfriend, went to Brazil, came back to Japan, made the MSBY Black Jackels team, beat Kageyama, got married to Kageyama, became a Kageyama, made the National team, lost the Olympics, then won the Olympics. All of that with Kageyama by his side, not always physically but in one way or another. He had done a lot...

After what seemed like hours of endless thoughts, Hinata had concluded. This time, he was wrong, and he intended on letting Tobio know this. Because Tobio didn't need him, he needed Tobio.

* * *

"Tobio..." Shouyou called out, his eyes still focused on the array of stars that shined above him.

Kageyama hummed in response, acknowledging Hinata, his hands feeling the cold grass beneath him.

"Ask me why I like stars so much," Hinata said, his fingers breezing past the tips of the grass he laid on. The night was dark and clear, the stars were shining as the couple made their way out to a field. Hinata always had some sort of obsession with the stars every since their second year, and Kageyama had never asked him about it. He'd just assumed it was some dumb thing, maybe he just liked how they looked, never expecting some deep reason for his liking of the stars.

"ah, Shouyou?" 

"Yeah?" Hinata replied, turning his head to face Kageyama, he did the same.

"Why do you like the stars so much...?"

Well, I'm glad you asked, Tobio." Hinata replied, as bubbly as ever. "The stars are kinda weird when you think about it." He began, turning his head back up at the sky. "They're always here, maybe not visible but their presence is here to me. I think that that's pretty cool, and it kind of reminds me of people." Kageyama turned his head back up at the sky, sighing as he listened. "Like the people you love, they aren't always here with you physically, but they're with you mentally and spiritually... So I think of the stars like people I love. All unique like snowflakes, but all so amazing and powerful people, to me at least. I think that the stars and people have a lot more in common than we like to think...Y'know? I hope that that made some sort of sense." he finished.

"I never thought of it like that.." Kageyama said, his breath slow as he moved his left hand to hold Shouyou's right.

* * *

"-Oh my god or the one time in our second year where Sugawara just slammed the gym door open out of nowhere? I thought that was hilarious, he was in college already and he just- came back!" Hinata examined. They were talking about old highschool and childhood memories, a nice distraction from how painful it was breathing. 

"Remember in our third year, at graduation?" Kageyama said, moving his body closer to the man that sat up next to him in the hospital bed.

"When Tsuki cried in front of us?!" Hinata finished.

"Yup!" Kageyama replied, smiling at the thought of Tsukishima crying in front of them. Honestly, Kageyama would have cried too if it weren't for Hinata being there, he knew that Hinata would tease him about it forever.

The boys shared memories upon memories, using the time they had together and abusing it a little. Everyone had gotten to know Kageyama's an,e around the hospital, he was pretty famous before in the sports world, but now he's pretty popular with the doctors. They've all gotten to know something about Kageyama, little by little. Right now most of the doctors and nurses that treated Hinata knew his name and some fun facts about him.

It was nice in a way, but at the same time painful, he knows it's apart of their job to be nice to him, soon enough his husband would be 6 feet under anyways. The universe just seemed to hate Hinata and Kageyama.

Hinata winced as another sharp pain found its way through his chest, it was common for him nowadays. Kageyama wrapped his arms around him as if that would shield him from the pin that he felt, it brought little comfort to him.

For a little bit, Kageyama thought Shouyou smelled too heavily of the hospital, but right now, and hopefully for as long as he lives, Shouyou smells like safety, comfort, _home..._

* * *

The blinds were closed letting little natural light into the room where Shouyou laid alone, his phone and a book sat on a side table to the left of him, but he'd have to get up to get that, and right now he didn't have the energy for anything. He was so tired but couldn't sleep, his cough worsened night by night, day by day he was in more pain than the previous. Concern filled his loved one's minds as they watched the once bright man slowly deteriorate.

Visitors were coming more often, knowing their time was limited. Shouyou never complained, but it was exhausting to him, just talking and doing the simplest actions was tiring, but he couldn't fall asleep. There was always something that stopped him.

I was always nights like these where he felt the most alone, but then he'd remember who Is out there waiting for him. Waiting for him to get better.

Waiting for something that's never going to happen.

The feeling of something unknown flooded his body, his mind was clouded with the thoughts of what he'd be leaving behind soon. And life goes on, which is the most painful part. Countless late-night adventures, movies watched, games played, volleyball tournaments played, games won, sets won, points won, serves, passes, sets, hits, blocks, in the end, would all go to waste in his mind.

* * *

"Why me?"

"Because life Is unfair."

"Why?"

"I- I don't know Shou, I wish I wasn't I really really wish it was fair..." Kageyama soothed, it was another one of those days, Hinata used his scratchy voice to cry, and to sulk, and honestly, Kageyama couldn't blame him. He's being stronger than anyone would in his situation.

As the wet tears ran down Shouyou's face all Kageyama could do was hold him, shield him from the cruelness of the world for as long as he can.

The room was dark, with the sun going down faster and faster each night the natural light Shouyou would always keep his hospital room lit with was gone faster and faster. It wasn't like he wanted to see the light that bad, it was just another thing he couldn't have. He was thinking about that a lot recently, all the things he can have now and will never have later. It felt kind of selfish to him, but maybe right now it's okay to be selfish.

* * *

"Shou, it's snowing..." Kageyama whispered out to his sleepy husband. His head perked up at the noise and immediately turned to the opened window to the left of him.

He smiled and snuggled closer to Kageyama, showing almost zero interest in the snow. He was slowly going silent, not voluntarily of course, but with everything going on his throat hurting and being scratchy it couldn't be helped anymore, it was just the cherry on top of the disaster sundae.

Kageyama had gotten used to carrying a wordless conversation, Hinata would try to engage, but with his weakening state, it was difficult, resulting in him slowly giving out and giving in. Conversations had just consisted of Kageyama talking about his day, never scared to bring up the topic of volleyball. Originally he'd thought that he should stray away from volleyball, he didn't want to remind Hinata he couldn't play again. But as it turns out Hinata enjoyed listening to him talk about it. Both of them were still volleyball freaks in the very end. Hinata would nod his head along and occasionally say something.

There were small gifts in the corner of the hospital room by the doorway given to Hinata from friends and family, some even from opposing teams. They never failed to bring some sort of a small to Hinata's face.

Right now All Hinata wanted though, was to get better.

He didn't need flowers, he needed good health. Hell, he couldn't even breathe on his own, he relied on a tube. He had help eating, showering, changing all of it. He felt weak and powerless, really the only people that treated him the same were Kageyama, Kenma, and surprisingly enough, Bokuto. They visited him most often too, keeping a consistent visiting schedule no matter where they were. When the number of people visiting him cut down, they took advantage of that, spending as much time with Shouyou they could.

As the snowflakes fell and felted their way down the warm window Shouyou laid silently, too deep in thought I pay attention to his surroundings.

"Wanna go watch the stars tonight Shou?" Kageyama says, finally snapping Hinata out of his dark train of thought.

"Yeah...I do..." He says before snuggling deep inside of Kageyama's chest. The idea of stargazing tonight sounded great...

"How are you gonna convince the doctors to let me go, they're always so reluctant on letting me go out." Hinata curiously asked, it was a valid question.

"I'll find a way..." Tobio responded, putting his hand in his lover's fluffy hair, running his fingers through it.

"Oh really?"

"Really."

* * *

Laughs filled the air of the once quiet city. The men's breaths could be seen, it was a chilly night, but it hadn't bothered them. With their fingers intertwined sharing each other's body heat everything felt warm and safe.

Occasionally Hinata would stumble a bit, another side effect, mainly from his muscles weakening. But then again, Kageyama was always there for him, keeping him up when he needed it. As the two walked to their destination, a field once full of flowers, now fo snow, they talked. But when they didn't the silence was comfortable, neither of them felt the need to end it like they use to.

As they approached the gates to the closed field, light snow and frost covered the dark green grass, small yellow spots of grass highlight the area. The trees around them had given all they could during the summer, providing beautiful flowers and leave until they eventually died out. The gates and fences were old, covered in ivy and vines, and the base once had flowers of all colors blooming around them, those dying by the end of fall too. The creaky old gates opened allowing both silent men to see the field again, they've watched things grow, and now they watch them die. The sound of the snow packing beneath their feet was enough noise for the two of them, after all, actions really did speak louder than words in the end.

Hinata walked up alone to the singular spot he'd always it, it was covered in snow but beneath that held the dark green grass he'd always lay on. A little snow never hurt anyone anyway. As he laid down Kageyama made his way over, silently taking his normal spot. 

They looked attentively at the stars, letting their bodies relax as their breaths came out loudly, also coming out like clouds in the cold.

Hinata's cold gloved fingers hovered over the packed down snow that was next to him, hesitating to grab it before ultimately quietly packing it into a small round snowball.

"-Hey, Tobio?" Hinata said, breaking the silence between the two of them.

"Yeah?" He responded, sitting up and looking over at his husband, who was still lying down, body spread out on the snow beneath them.

"I have something for you-" Hinata said

"Wha-" Kageyama began before getting cut off with a snowball to the face. Hinata giggled at the sight of his lover's face cold and covered in snow, the snowball breaking on impact leaving traces of it all over.

"Oh, it is on," Kageyama yelled, not caring about how loud his voice was, nor how late it was at night.

bending down to grab a chunk of snow he began packing it while Shouyou ran to find some sort of cover in the large field, deciding on hiding behind snow made likely made by kids that came to the field before them.

Tonight they acted like children, but their souls were that of a child, they had fun at the very least. The men ended the day with red faces, a smile, fingers intertwined, and cold. But happy.

* * *

It's only been a few months since his diagnosis, and here he was laying on his deathbed, his heart beating now but it won't later. Hinata visibly shivers at the thought, moving the most he can. He'd done really everything he could, doctors lost all hope for the man ages ago, he lost hope only weeks ago.

His body now rapidly deteriorating, leaving him more open to sickness and disease, a small thing like pneumonia could and would kill him within just days. There were so many things he wanted, but as it turns out he was always just meant to give up and give in in life. He wasn't meant for this. He burned out, and he knew it.

It doesn't matter what he does anymore, he's leaving soon anyway, and he wants everyone to know that. He wants everything to stop telling him to "hang in there' because he has, so wheres the bottom line?

It doesn't matter where he goes or who treats him. It doesn't matter what medicine he takes. it doesn't matter how hard he tries to get a good night's sleep. it doesn't matter what he does, who does what. And the idea of him coping with the fact was painful, it's not easy coping with your own death at only 29.

All of the memories feel bittersweet, once filled with so many emotions many happy and funny, but now just another thing he'll miss in life.

But the more time he has to think the more thoughts of the afterlife fill his head, he knows he'll die, he just doesn't know when. He just doesn't know what happens afterwords to him. The possibilities are endless.

* * *

Kageyama was tired. The bags under his eyes proved the statement easily and his slow movements supported that. He loved Hinata with everything he had, but love doesn't heal everything. He knows this now.

he wishes he could've given Hinata his oxygen, wishes he could have given Hinata his energy, wishes he could have given Hinata his body, wishes he could have given Hinata his heart. but it turns out that's just not how life works. He doesn't know where to go after everything.

The universe is a force to be reckoned with, and love is a privilege and Kageyama now knows this. If he got anything out of this, it's that. Love is a privilege that everyone gets, some get their privileges unfairly taken away. he loved with no strings attached, no holds barred.

* * *

"I love you Kageyama tobio, I love you okay? Remember I love you with everything I had. I'll see you soon love." Tears formed around his eyes as he cried out for his lover who stood in a state of shock at the sight. Hinata cried as the pain got worse and worse and the beeping of the machines picked up until he couldn't breathe. His voice scratchy and his throat was irritated at the amount they spoke. He was panicking internally but it seems he could barely show it. He said what he thinks may be his final words with no regret at all, he needed Kageyama to just know he loves him because he knew soon enough he'd cut out the world as if it would help anything.

As Kageyama watched from the side as doctors rushed in pushing him aside and urging him out of the room to let them do their work. Maybe this really was it for Hinata, he lived his life just for it to end like this. No matter what Kageyama was still so proud of him for everything, he'd go with no regrets.

"Someone get him out now!" one of the doctors ordered, they were talking about getting Kageyama out...his body was still frozen as two nurses urged him out of the door. Taking another glance over at the bed that had so many memories he saw bright orange hair and a body laying limp, doctors surrounding the body as they rapidly tried to revive the man who was finally getting the sleep he needed. Maybe the bags under his eyes would go away, replace themselves with the paleness of his skin.

Suddenly the doors closed in front of his face, the blinds of the narrow windows beside the door shutting to prevent any peeking through.

"Kageyama! What's going on?" Kenma yelled out from across the hospital hallway, Bokuto, Kuroo, and Akkashi behind him, worried faces covering their normal smiling or neutral faces.

"I-..." He tried to get out but it seemed the words wouldn't leave his mouth, everyone must've gotten the message, the doctors cause quite the commotion.

"Oh god is he-" Bokuto cries out bluntly. Akashi's hold visibly grows tighter around the man.

"It's-It's possible..." Kageyama finally gets out, his eyes darted back to the floor, he hated being the bearer of bad news.

During the whole ordeal, Kuroo stayed silent, uncharacteristic of him really. He seemed to also be having a difficult time coping with the idea that Hinata could be gone soon, or be gone right now. As the voices in the nearby room slowly quieted down there were only two possible outcomes, one of them being death.

With a sigh, Kageyama took a seat on a brown bench seated outside of Hinata's from, awaiting the news. Bokuto, Akashi, and Kuro followed soon after him. Kenma standing still at the idea of his best friend being gone. Really one of the only people that supported him since the day he met him may be gone. Dead. Never coming back. He still hadn't coped with the general fact that Hinata was sick in the first place, he seemed to always skip around the fact, his fingers crossed that maybe he'd wake up from this nightmare. His knuckles turning white at the gip of his black hoodie, and his teeth clenching. Pure anger and rage filling his body realizing that this is what life is like, one day he'd go too.

The clicking of the heavy door startled everyone, looking up from their positions getting a view of the doctor in charge of Shouyou, none of the men even bothered learning the man's name. He was always blunt and rude, never seeming to comfort anyone even though that was apart of his job.

"I'm...I'm sorry..." The man says, tears forming in his red irritated eyes. Everyone seemed to get the memo as they broke down.

No one said a word to anyone, it was all incoherent cries for Shouyou to come back, come home.

Because hone wasn't a physical place to them anymore, the home was the people.

He left home...

"I- I-.." Kageyama attempted to get out, he was pulled into a hug between everyone, he could hear the faint noise of the pattering of feet exiting Shouyou's room, some for the final time.

They each shielded each other from the world but right now it seemed to not be working. Everything was far too surreal, the universe picks people off, one by one, cause by cause.

* * *

"I'm proud of you for coming, Tobio..." Natsu says, her eyes red and puffy. She truly did look up to her big brother, visiting him whenever he possibly could despite the distance between the two.

"Thank you, Natsu..." Kageyama said, pulling the short girl into a hug. He hadn't cried as much as one would think after Hinata's death, he didn't know why, he just couldn't. But that didn't stop him from feeling depressed about it. He'd lock himself inside of the room he once willingly shared for days on end. All of Shouyou's belongings were still there, exactly where he left the months prior. He hadn't had the heart to move them. coping wasn't Kageyama's thing, once he'd grown attached to someone or something it was always hard for him to let go.

Pulling away from the high slowly, Kageyama stated he was going to say hello to everyone else. There were a lot of people, ranging from high school friends all the way to other national teams. Even Oikawa was there, accompanied by iwazumi, who had stayed in Japan. Hinata would have loved to see everyone here, together. Just, without puffy eyes and dressed in all black. The color black definitely didn't fit the person Hinata was, he was bright, bubbly, could never sit still until he physically had to. Someone so bright left them so quickly.

there was a slideshow playing on a large screen at the end of the church, featuring all of Hinata's best moments, some videos included. Most of them featured Kageyama and some other code friends.

The sound of crying and the aura of the church was not something Kageyama enjoyed, he always hated this part of funerals. The part where everyone is mourning still, there were children here who had to see tons of adults crying their eyes out over the loss of Hinata. throwing the idea of being strong for them out the window.

The entire funeral was the opposite of what someone like Shouyou would want, but it seemed it didn't matter anymore.

And so life went on, which was the hardest part. Time waits for no one, seeking no mercy on those who beg of it to stop. 

So maybe, one day, possibly in a different chapter of their story will find each other once more. Hinata never said goodbye, he said he'd see him again. And Kageyama lived by that.

* * *

_"Tobio... What's up?"_ Hinata smiled brightly, a smile he hadn't seen in person in decades. Saying 'whats up' because it was never goodbye, it was see you later.

Kageyama smiled, fully, bright. He choked out a laugh before he answers his question.

As tears of pure happiness fell, he spoke. "Shouyou...I love you."

_"I love you too, welcome home, love."_

**Author's Note:**

> go yell at me in the comments or something I'm sorry.
> 
> I might make a second part to this story so uh if you want that please tell me.


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